Displeasure

Vanity and cockiness
young men are filled with both,
so,
it could have been either,
or both.
She was older – 15 years older, with children,
and
husband wanting back.
Me, temporary distraction
but early 20s something only thought of mechanics,
not metaphysics.

There were going to counselling
she told me I was better company ….. more energetic –
told me after returning from counselling.
Erotic, the thought of being the preferred one –
made me feel vain, cocky
and good.

Years later, her then husband spoke at a meeting
taking questions, offering expertise
and intercession.
His eyes were warm and kind
his voice thoughtful and compassionate
his manner genuine.
I felt uncocky and unvain
and bad.