Posted in Chutzpah

Your Call

The jemmied door told the story –
no discussion or puzzlement required
no why, or how. Only what.
Single bicycle,
the best of a fleet of six.
Strange the waivers of emotion
outrage and anger morph to relief …
we consider ourselves fortunate –
had got off lightly –
it could have been so much worse –
they must be interrupted.

Emotion becomes motions
police and insurance company
mechanical and factual. Both brisk and perfunctory –
neither expect recovery.

A phone call several months later
police have busted a ring selling hot bicycles,
after they have cooled. Serial number matches.
Come and collect.
The policeman is pleased at the outcome
we sign
then he says
“ I’m required to tell you this
if your insurance company has paid out
you are required to notify them –
then a large smile
but I’m not a policeman …”

Posted in Chutzpah

Null Hypothesis

It’s often proclaimed :
more statement than observation
the speaker knows they will be wrong,
almost certainly knew they would be,
fervently, if they truly believed :
“ he/she won’t see 30.”
He didn’t –
beer talk prediction was fact.

never Michael, plus
mad as a prefix, an additional Christian name
Mad Mike, followed by his surname –
all one word.
years ago, piloting his fishing boat
through a storm,
through dangerous waters, through fear, through warnings
all the other boats stayed ashore.
The last of his 99 lives.
In another of the previous 98
his car slid off the edge of a steep road
teetering on a several hundred foot fall
he claimed out onto terra firma
then clambered back to the car
removed the battery
saying, it was new
and well the price of a decent battery.

Posted in Chutzpah


When we arrived back from abroad
after making a fortune –
well sort of
a mid size deposit for
a mid size house
in a mid status suburb,
the economy was slumbering –
hung over,
not at all favourable to refugees or defectors.

Work: my loved one approached her former employer
and found four weeks covering for honeymoon leave.
Dreams and reality
we saw the house of our dreams
the bank not interested in deposit or equity
but mortgage
“ ability to pay .” No. Capital cannot be used as offset.

My loved one spoke to her boss
explaining and asking for proof of employment.
The boss looked over her bifocals and said
“ I assume you have the means to pay this?”
A nod –
she wrote on a reputable letterhead
…. ….. is employed by … with an annual salary of …