Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

Grandad died in 1963
the same year JFK was assassinated
and
according to Philip Larkin, sex was invented.
His wife had died years before,
when the children strained into the distance
and concentrated really hard, they could just make her out.

My mother said his funeral was on an autumn Saturday
under graphite skies.
She said she always remembered two things –
the creaking of the mechanism lowering him into the earth
and the grace of God enabling her
to make it to the refuge of the car before any tears –
“ breaking down,” she called it.

Where to put the grief
for the man who had been both father and mother
– anywhere but in public
– “ no one wanted any fuss,
that’s how it was in those days.”

For 10 years, he brought vicarious glamour to my parents’ world
not so much namedrop
as name slip –
slipped into conversations
enjoying the association and response.
His fame lasted after his time on centre stage
becoming an emeritus figure
often sought for comment or opinion.
Until,
the crime
and the fall.

Irish superstitions prevailed in our family
admission to heaven especially
all kinds of caveats could be applied
including
unmourned souls being considered less eligible.

When the former acquaintance died
there was no mention of a requiem or interment
it passed unacknowledged and unmentioned.

In my mid-forties
a woman in her mid 20’s
offered $15,000.
Or rather to raise my credit the same amount
thought $5,000 not enough,
that $20,000 would be more useful.
“ You never know when you might see something you want.”
– A new car?
– First class flight to London?
– Deposit on a Rembrandt?
Thanks so much I’m happy how it is.

The missing transaction is located – the bank’s error
apologies and wide, white smile
business complete, leave taking commences
“ I could raise it to $25,000 if you would prefer.”

Then, in my mid 20’s I sat waiting
waiting to be brought to the Loans Approval Officer –
a woman in her mid-forties.
After presenting the request, I am frisked with a frown
she wonders why the appointment was made –
it’s not policy to offer mortgages to applicants such as me.
But,
my income is good and career stable –
a highly regarded employer in a reliable sector.
– Yes, but gender and marital status – young and single
they require caution,
the bank has to be responsible,
 “ we can’t just throw money around.”