Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

It’s over 30 years ago now
then, I thought he was lucky
regular warmth slipping into eager sheets
as autumn undressed to winter.

There is a photograph from that time
impossibly blue day.
crimsoning leaves
tree sprayed sunshine
both of us standing together – piece workers on an orchard.
Treacle tanned
perma smiled
forgetful of all anxiety
the quiet between examinations and grade.
Perfection
except
shadow stain of the image capturer.

He told me casually
as if announcing the date or time
more confirmation of fact than disclosure
if suspicion had been more attentive
the dots may have connected with speed
and without confession
but observation was blunted by self-absorption.

She wasn’t a beginner he said
things had begun some time before him
of this there could be no doubt
he had experience in these matters.

The landowner’s daughter and the hired help
20th-century absolution to the sins of squirearchy
the new egalitarianism.
Girls want to have fun too
that’s what he told me.
She giggled confirmation.

Retouching is needed. The camera lied.
The good looking man smiling out does not exist.
No such person
address unknown
an employment alias
such deceptions possible before electronic footprints.

A satellite falls from rogue orbit to extinction
re entry incineration vaporises all trace.
She was two years below age of consent
he must be in his 50s now
perhaps with a daughter.

When we returned after seven years
the economy was in hibernation
vacancies a prom queen
multiple suitors
best behaviour queues.

It’s not what I would have chosen
but after 14 months choice wasn’t
if acceptance was a wine
tasting notes would have read
a surge of gratitude …. relief the long taste.

She asked why I was leaving
candour said too many staff had been here too long
assertive had evolved to aggressive
their manner best described as courteous hostility.
Did she know what I meant?
“No.”

Resignation must be written
reasons to be stated
a requirement for HR protocols.
A pause.

Concern makes its first appearance
musing out loud –  as if just thought of
personnel records remain on file
available to auditors from head office.
Just write something brief
about departure to pursue new opportunities.

Eyes meet.
Dishonesty as request – not instruction.
Protest forms and then remembers
14 months of breath held wish
and envelope crushed hope.
Gratitude had made repayment in full. Relief still owed her.

In the workplace
some live on
even when long gone.
Forever remembered
for humour
for proficiency
for single-mindedness.

Love and respect are not enough
the immortal must frighten as well
known without ever being met
stories diffuse through the workplace ether.
Present and absent. Living ghosts.

She had already been archived
before I was catalogued
the same periodical
different sections. Separate editions
one unread
the other
thumb stained reference.

One afternoon a solemn exodus – a funeral
it is hers.
Respect sighs through the corridors
they don’t make them like that any more
“lucky she wasn’t here when…”

While the hierarchy is absent
a new story
not recycled or framed.

Drinking + driving + dark = death
a man on a bike.
raining apparently
“poorly lit probably
she didn’t mean to
wrong place, wrong time
something that could happen to anybody.”
It is never mentioned again.