Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

It was a select course
hard to get into and
harder to get out of –
sort of academic Hotel California
but without the frisson, adventure ….. and cocaine.
A quartet of professors rotated
incessantly teaching, setting assignments, grading –
critique and criticism.
Occasionally a guest lecturer stirred the homogeneity
lightening the tedium – or increasing.

Even on a warm spring day he arrived in topcoat
and three-piece suit.
He was accompanied by a briefcase
which remained unopened
waved aside fulsome introductions with
“ litigation is the cloaca of law
where it goes when all other processes are finished –
excreta ” to the arrayed blank faces.

His address was that of a barrister to a jury
a blend of pathos, humour, sarcasm, fact and emotion
ending with
“ to some the coastline of New Zealand begins atop the highest peak
to others at the outer edge of the 200 mile exclusive economic zone,”
for $500 an hour I’m prepared either argue case.

Then collecting briefcase and coat
he was gone,
without pause or farewell.

The difference between high school sport and grade cricket –
they were men,
with muscles and moustaches and
that wasn’t a ball,
it was a missile –
coming at ME.
Helmets – brand-new, no one used them then.
“ PUSSIES … scared of a bit of leather ?”
Jeff asked his old man,
who’d been a halfway decent cricketer himself back in the day,
back before helmets even thought of.
“ Do you wear a box?
YEAH,
well, if you’re protecting your balls, why not your brains?”

Anointing a successor –
should the incumbent advocate, or abstain,
act as expert witness or rubberstamp?
Sense of humour – SOH yet to be text ubiquitous –
the boss’s priority
SOH : pixie dust antidote
to budgets, truculence, morale cul-de-sac
churlish or self accusing to quizz hierarchy.
Useful, yes, but
feeding 200, 3X daily – 24/7 …..
the quotidian as important as the quip.

A dead heat going into the last interview
polished and faultless performances seem destined for photo finish
and much discussion,
until the question –
what would you expect to be paid.
Two are coy and diplomatic,
vague amorphous doodles, unfrightening to horses,
or accountants.
Between brackets of toothpaste smile and stand-up comic laugh
number three wrist flicks “ lots.”
The boss beamed. She got the job.