Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

One step
a low ascent to adolescence’s highest peak
a voice an equal age in years but older
“I don’t think you need these”
practised hands slide trousers down unresisting legs.
Dark hair fans across pale shoulders
a not before seen expression of many imaginings
the man on top
the woman beneath
there were rumours of others, but for now this was enough.

Travel posters glimpsed and desired
an exotic destination
banter leads to booking.
cancellation rehearsed before confirmation.

The zodiac favour falls in an ambiguous arc
boy bravado expected complicit exemption
now in the rushing confusion
youth’s most desired waypoint collides
with its greatest fear – chickening out.
Nothing more shameful than loss of nerve
except loss of face
the sister of a friend
failure will not go unreported – or unpublished.
Reputation’s requiem, a chorus of sniggering begins to play
choice slinks away
the alternative is so much worse.

No one would have called her pretty
rumpled face
high forehead
wire wool hair of implausible colour
and tongue sharpened on two ex-husbands.

Her name was of a well-known flower
no scent or petals
only thorns
maybe it was winter in her life
and
a patient gardener prune for spring.

People said she was witty
had been a prankster in faded years
fifty-seven
seeming ninety five
to a twenty two-year-old.

Her workday appeared to consist of solving crosswords.
many years later I came to appreciate
this strange honesty.
No subterfuge or pretence
the passive tools of defiance openly visible
a book of puzzles, a dictionary, scrap paper. Refreshing.

The monthly meeting and a guest lecture
Patagonia clothing, beards and reputations
like Wimbledon everybody knows the seedings
higher ranking brings greater deference – and less talk.

A small unobtrusive man stands with the well-known president
tonight’s speaker he seems a dim light
amongst the halogen lamps of the audience.
He is introduced and begins.
A reflective nostalgic talk quiet and well mannered
each image on the screen produces soft memory
and generous comment about those framed within
a gentle production suitable for mature viewing and family audiences.

At the conclusion hard edged questions which are not
but mountaineering’s thrusting frontier of self acclamation.
Slight awe and praise beam from the speaker.
he looks exactly what he is, a kindly
middle aged medical practitioner from the provinces.

A generation distanced from the fearless ambition
that saw him and two deceased companions push
climbing standards out two decades in three years
he feels no need to show off.