Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

Some things can never be recaptured
existing only in the quarantine of the present
no ancestor gifting inheritance
no offspring receiving bequest.
Brief pulses of the then now – recounted with a sigh – always.
the bank approving shift from tenant to home owner
a phone call offering the job
the jangling excitement of a first international flight
the eroticism of an unexpected, just that once, night.

A door heavy and soundless opens
framing the best looking woman life has seen
her face rearranges from dazzling welcome, to puzzled
A polite question as to certainty of destination
contrition real, or summoned, fills the perfection of her features
goodwill and eagerness to belong look away from slight.
Acoustically deep carpet, heavy drapes, almost darkness
people who may, or may not, want to be seen
but could ask anything to be seen with.

An expansive and bewildering array of cutlery
start at the outside my companion whispers : “move in.”
Flawless food arrives
vacuumed plates disappear
operating theatre precision, funeral home propriety.

We were newly graduated then
newly careered and newly eager.
Young certainly, unworldly definitely, pompous probably
still
the first taste of luxury – never surpassed. Never equalled.

On the last day of term
the last day ever of high school
a blurr of chores
home room cleaned, forms signed, books returned.
And then farewell
to uniforms, to regulation hair, to teachers
the long summer stretches out …. to university.

University
freedom, choice and girls.
Girls
lying in wait
to liberate Catholic boys from imprisoned sexuality.

After six weeks, puzzlement
not only less than irresistible
easily ignored
two surprised minds confer.
Reasons discussed and dismissed
then clarity
transport is lacking
wheels are needed for the carnal highway.

It wasn’t easy on the eye – true
rumpled of appearance and bronchial of sound
carbon dated by fins and chrome
and nearing retirement
a vehicle more likely to attract derision, than the opposite sex.
But that was lost on optimism
whose very first act was to pay a toll to nirvana
and purchase a packet of condoms.

The car never graduated university
my friend went to Australia the holidays of our third year
found more sunshine
work
a woman who became his wife
and never returned.
It remained at his parents’
until an intersection of opportunity and frustration
the front lawn could be reclaimed
and trades training had a use for the car.

I often wonder the reaction
when apprentice panel beaters removed the door linings
and found those condoms
still there …… and still unopened.

Our father instructed us to gather in the living room.
An announcement
a one person show
no supporting act
no props or accompaniment.
Our baby brother was ill
very ill
something  eye tis
he would be in hospital a long time
might not come home. Ever.

We are permitted to go to bed
unbathed and without prayers
a dispensation not awarded even to Christmas eve.