Orphaned Islands (Un)poetry

Upbringing was catholic. And Catholic –
two parents. One bed. Zero deviation
adultery an evil,
divorce infinitely more sinful than murder.
Divorce. I didn’t know anyone who was until aged 19….
didn’t know about two homes
about split holidays
about division.
Division of property, assets and friends.
Especially friends – whose side are you on?

It was the opposite to divorce. And precisely the same.
A forced amalgamation, of two workplaces
each a mirror of their leader
each expecting to be paramount.

1) Competent, meticulous and unworldly.
2) Utilitarian, empirical and wily.

No contest.
Streetwise seizes power. Carnivorously.

I am assigned an office in the carcass
three years dead
but,
when I walk down the corridor – whose side are you on?

Shirley – tea Lady excelsis.
In the age of re-branding –
rubbish collection as waste management
medicine as health care
food service as catering,
she called herself “the tea lady” – endearingly and resolutely.
Said,
“ I’ve been a tea lady 40 something years –
still making tea,
blowed if I’m going to call myself anything else.”

Ours was her best staffroom she said,
“I love working here, but with the kids gone
and getting my pension … the hours ” –
9 a.m. to 11 a.m.
and
2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
……….      “ I’m tied up all day, for half a day’s pay,
but I don’t feel ready to retire, just yet ….
oh listen to me, I should be grateful.”

She did listen to herself.
And,
had a friend,
who wouldn’t mind part, part-time either.
They will job share. Two weeks on, two weeks off,
and be each others locum.
A good deal for both. Effective immediately.

They tell the director
he is incensed :
“ I appoint staff, not the bloody tea lady.”
After,
whenever a notice appeared signed by the Director
within a day or two
the title beneath the signature would be crossed out … and replaced with Tea Lady.

What the satirists said was true –
the civil service couldn’t function without tea breaks.
Each day :
10 a.m.
12 midday.
2:30 p.m. Sharp.
Everything stopped.
Everyone attended –
phone’s diverted to the staffroom.
There was even someone to make it.

Tea ladies – an extinct species now.
Women, always
warm and bighearted
making tea and coffee
dispensing cheer
and on special days,
making sure everyone got some cake.

New Zealand Tea Lady 1935 – 87.

Essential Competencies

· Endlessly patient
· Eternally cheerful
· Relentlessly willing.

Physical Attributes

· Some lifting involved
· Must be able to stand for long periods
· Large breasted (medium may apply).

Often they carried the name of a flower
Rose, Iris, Daphne
or something accessible and friendly
Annie, Betty, Jenny.
We had Shirley.

Shirley – tea Lady excelsis.
Ours was her last staff room –
four decades plus of brewing,
for men
shearers, farmers, shepherds –
tea like waste oil from a tractor.
It turned me into a coffee drinker.
I blame her for my addiction.