Category: Lies

The longer one spent with Michael
the easier it became not to like him.
Whatever topic was being discussed
be it life or love
art or the arcane
he offered what was imagined the final word
one of pomposity and self congratulation.

A generation older in a young person’s world
age was a benefit bestowed on him
before the maturity to stop wishing to be young.
And we, half a decade removed from our teens
lacked the wisdom to know old from age.

Deference was expected and assumed
coffee break conversation a personal monopoly.
Innocuous questions a lure
to long tales of chaos and confusion
resolved only by the application of his genius.

A small interdependent workplace
scorn would have been stowed – an emergency kit prepared
occasionally gallows humoured referenced
but
never expected to be used in anger.

Except.

The ability to attach himself
to the smallest amount of credit
and abdicate any association
with the faintest trace of error
rotted goodwill to intolerance.

It would have been easy to think more of Michael
if he had thought less of himself.
When he looked in the mirror
what he saw was very pleasing
he was deeply puzzled by our indifference.

Benjamin Disraeli
Prime Minister to Queen Victoria
forgotten as a politician
forever remembered in quotation
defining the allotropes of truth : “ Lies, damned lies and statistics.”

Queen Victoria
sturdy, stern, severe, steadfastly Victorian
the age, much less so.
Promiscuity knew the drill – a gentleman at court
and after hours…. no questions asked.
Except the premier
who pondered the wisdom of adultery – the disproportion of risk to reward
with a less renowned quote
“the expense was damnable, the position ridiculous and the pleasure fleeting.”

Gratification rouses recklessness.
Scent whispers
opportunity murmurs
hormones shout
men listen with pounding attention. Consequences mute.

Rules of transaction always contain exception
with sexuality women display far greater sense
except
visits to the Third World
and tumbling into commitment
with lovers who are peasants. Literally.

“Peasant.” Triggered full feminist artillery
white middle-class male imposing prejudice.
Had love ever been known?
To really be in love?
A dozen years of monogamy didn’t count.

Ears flinch.
Tongue chastised.
Time watches.
Brief first class stateroom. Then lifeboats.

Mars and Venus
men hunt pleasure and promise tickets
women seek beauty and perceive enlightenment.
Deception and delusion. Damned lies and statistics.

It’s over 30 years ago now
then, I thought he was lucky
regular warmth slipping into eager sheets
as autumn undressed to winter.

There is a photograph from that time
impossibly blue day.
crimsoning leaves
tree sprayed sunshine
both of us standing together – piece workers on an orchard.
Treacle tanned
perma smiled
forgetful of all anxiety
the quiet between examinations and grade.
Perfection
except
shadow stain of the image capturer.

He told me casually
as if announcing the date or time
more confirmation of fact than disclosure
if suspicion had been more attentive
the dots may have connected with speed
and without confession
but observation was blunted by self-absorption.

She wasn’t a beginner he said
things had begun some time before him
of this there could be no doubt
he had experience in these matters.

The landowner’s daughter and the hired help
20th-century absolution to the sins of squirearchy
the new egalitarianism.
Girls want to have fun too
that’s what he told me.
She giggled confirmation.

Retouching is needed. The camera lied.
The good looking man smiling out does not exist.
No such person
address unknown
an employment alias
such deceptions possible before electronic footprints.

A satellite falls from rogue orbit to extinction
re entry incineration vaporises all trace.
She was two years below age of consent
he must be in his 50s now
perhaps with a daughter.