Posted in Death

Cremation

Embers fade from red to orange
cooling to patched grey – auburn hair in middle age.
Time is almost ready
not quite
after waiting
since midway through the decade before last
it doesn’t mind five more minutes.

A nondescript piece of paper
thumbed and menopausal
the size of business card
which in some ways it is.
House number
street name
postal code
Country. A long way from this.

Amputated from the top of a letter
unfolded with smile
refolded in sigh
for 16 years
outliving two wallets
comfortable with a third.

Precision timing
the undertaker must calibrate that exact point
knowing when the earth is ready to receive
the loved ones to yield.
As gently as possible
fingers lower paper to coals
funeral pyre acceptance.

Morning cannot resist
there is no miracle.
nothing remains.

Posted in Death

Appearances

Because life would never again be so uncomplicated
it is recalled with intense affection
a summer, the last of university.
Weeks spent in the country, working on a farm.
Time paused. Saffron days. Butterscotch sunsets. Star bright nights
and a girl, almost a woman, from the house up the road
whose gaze lingered a second or two more than necessary.

At mealtimes and breaks, when the mood was right
perhaps as many as many as six times that summer
the farmer, quiet, intelligent and deep would pour a second cup
of bitumen tea and read aloud from his volume of stories.
He had grown up when radio was king
and had learned
the magic needed to cast a spell by voice alone
his one-man plays had no need for scenery or special effects
compelling listening, especially one about the vanished neighbour.

A couple youngish, late 30’s perhaps, no children and a business in town
new to the district, kept to themselves, friendly enough
but didn’t seem to have any friends – too busy probably, with jobs and a farm.
Their property was elevated with views past fields to the distant bay
expensive that was known, a heavy mortgage suspected.

After a year or two while on holiday in a nearby resort
the husband is boating on a lake often draped with morning mist.
When the wet curtain lifts – an empty stage – not a trace.
A mystery. Some were not surprised. The waters haunted according to legend.
Mid 1960’s still an innocent country, the police and coroner understanding.

Once formalities were completed the life insurance was paid
the sum very large. There are no secrets in small provincial cities.
After a short but not indecently brief interval of grieving
the widow sold and quietly left the district, too many memories he imagined
and with no friends to stay in touch, never heard from again.

A dozen years, later entirely by chance, the farmer is walking
through the most affluent suburb in the nation’s largest city
when he sees a man who looks identical to the dead husband.
The story ended as they always did with a crushed cigarette
and the sighed observation that work wasn’t getting done.
His stories were perfect crystals of fact
no impurities of opinion or interpretation
the narrative stood alone, never needing annotation or footnote.
Fraudster or doppelganger – he gave no clue
that was for me to decide.
Often that summer I would gaze at the property of doubt … and wonder.

Posted in Death

Passing Through

The contrast wasn’t immediately sharp or vivid
observation was following directions
a motel. Two rights. First on entering the town
second after that. Back from the road. Look for the sign.
Attention relaxes to relief, everything is as should be
the correct destination. Webpage image not made over
comfort would have been annoyed but not disquieted
only one night will be spent in this halfway bed.

In the second weekend of the sun’s strongest month
while the flesh and spirit are strong and willing
a marathon in a coastal town
a long journey following river ribs over a mountain spine
Drive Friday. Run Saturday. Drive Sunday.
Pre-race energy levels reduced by frenetic travel
fatigue paid off with an extra day
circadian deal cutting rewards a nondescript service town.

Check in. Unpack. Coffee and kick back.
Novels summoned and rejected. Weather’s generosity should not be
free time proposes a walk along the tree cooled river
spirits float into a day whose urgency has escaped.
At the community centre
an unexpected number of vehicles
turns seen, but not read, into attention
one vehicle distinctive. Flower lined. The carriage of death.

Along the river the symphony of summer
hypnotic percussion of water, the overture of crickets
shifting patterns of shade, score light
bright blue of hope, heavy green of loss.

The car park opposite is almost empty now
except for volunteers washing dishes and floors
folding away tables stacking chairs. Returning neutrality
wedding or funeral. The venue pays no mind.

In the early evening a walk in sinking heat
through the domain, past the boat ramp
unexpectedly the cemetery. Wreaths and fresh earth.
This is the end, or beginning, theology makes the rules.

Tyres squeeze gravel, a door clunks closed
the man remains in the car a newspaper for company
a woman stands graveside. This is her grief. His is done.
Last, last day goodbye, in the last light of day.
An engine starts. A full bodied wave from the man
an anorexic smile from the woman
a slow ascent to the highway the flickering indicator waits patiently.
He talks animatedly. She looks back to dead ground.
Circumstances retreat slowly motelward
bringing to mind a schoolboy escaping blame
sad a neutral party punished
but pleased to abscond from direct pain.