Posted in Death

Unknowing

The funeral is two decades gone now
fragments of memory when hope was still rising
and waistlines could wear denim.
When everything was possible . . . no probable.

His life finished as his 20’s began
so much must have remained unvisited.
Did he know love
or only a dark corner and tangle of the back seat?

The world was the country of birth
not for him anticipation of the departure lounge
and long flight over empty ocean
no running with the bulls or Munich beer.

Or slow ragged march home
camping at friends or parents on return
shaking off memories of abandonment
folding youth away
pulling on the sober clothes of career.

We were the same age
almost the same letter
each school year began with rigid alphabetic proximity.
On the day age 40 arrived – a lone circling thought
he had been dead as many years as alive.

He didn’t see phones become clever
never knew flat screens and high-definition
or redundancy
or divorce.

For the back story click Backstage
If you like a piece of writing (or the site) please share

Posted in Death

Symmetry

The mid-1970’s a brief interlude
Keynesian economics has lied – monetarism yet to promise
rock music stumbles from centre stage. Disco waits.
High school almost history. Buoyant selfishness. Surly wisdom.
Everything is dumb
nothing is sacred.
Before departure one last ritual
a school field trip
spiritual, not temporal.
Retreat was the name used by school authorities.
It was – to the 1950’s. God. Sin. Punishment.

Trainer wheels are removed for this worthy cause
normally reluctant parents loan cars
trust eliminates the chaperone of supervised transport.
After everything has been cleaned, placed in arrival order
and release is authorized
defiant instinct leads to a bar.

Age necessitates a challenge to the law.
A second, then third round
tables evidence that bravado was not temporary.
Depletion of funds provides the excuse
honour is saved, we can leave on our terms.

At the city edge a cemetery and stop for necessity
eight stand along a wire strand fence
and anoint the soil.
Atop a gentle rise a funeral party
the juxtaposition hilarious to adolescents.
For the remaining weeks of school the contrast frequently recounted
a top 40 hit endlessly played.

Two and a half years later the
suffix teen has been eliminated from my age
a quiet boy from our year who wasn’t there that day
is drowned by serious chance . . . and casual safety.
To the student community it was an annual prank
to the coroner it was misadventure.

Three former classmates attend the church service
tributes turn sadness into sorrow then grief.
Outside, sunshine and family members
foggy reintroductions, awkward platitudes, close study of the ground.
Afternoon light illuminates sodality’s incomplete goodbye
a rapid tripartite conference and unanimity to follow the fading hearse.

A convoy of vehicles keeps time with the sedate leader
through a lattice of fine homes and mature trees
past playgrounds and playing fields
the waypoints of childhood and youth
ghosting through the suburbs to an interchange. And the corridor south.
Finality gathers pace and surges at freeway speed
to the city edge
and a cemetery.

Well shod feet crunch sober gravel
shuffle over subdued grass
to a mound of earth and hushed circle.
Deeply intoned prayers, mournful responses
ceremony trails into head bowed reflective silence.
Solemnity, reverence, respect. And an accusing fence.

For the back story click Backstage
If you like a piece of writing (or the site) please share

Posted in Death

Secular

Fran was a good employee and good person
reliable, hard-working, not given to complaint
kind and compassionate but broking no nonsense
worldly without being sophisticated.
God-fearing
if she hadn’t been God denying – emphatically.
She knew of my Catholic education
and churchgoing
never making cheap shot
or seeking conflict
elevated eyebrows occasionally transmitting agnosticism .

Annie died aged 38 one Saturday
collapsing after a half marathon
three children left without a mother
all young
very young.
Fran asked if something was wrong
listened without question or interruption
to my grief
to my bewilderment
after a time of heavy, congruent silence
she spoke gently and with love
“do you still believe in God?”

For the back story click Backstage
If you like a piece of writing (or the site) please share