Posted in Death

Last Resort

It was a small item on page five
his family thanked the lifeguards and paramedics
they said he came here every summer, fishing
said he died doing what he loved
in the place he loved.

The mathematics of infinity.

Brief chest crushed sharp
folding groundward to eternal anaesthesia
or slow subtraction of strength
relentless addition of atrophy
constant division of self
to end in multiplication of assistance
of shuffling corridors
pureed food
not in time call buttons
soiled sheets and bedpans
and square root of what once was.

For the back story click Backstage
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Posted in Death

Courage

A summer interregnum
the time spent between a disappeared career
and one yet to emerge
a seaside community
a mix of
not long married and long time retired.
Except a couple in their 50’s
he a practitioner of commerce in the nearby town
she a housewife. It was what her role was called then.

Christmas
New Year
carefree and timeless, every day is Sunday
old music and new freedom – it would last forever.

It didn’t. Summer ends abruptly
evicted by autumn
we must store away memories
dig up ambition …. and be gone.
The community had been tolerant
seeing what was approved
looking away from what wasn’t
we had brightened the dull sameness.

Later we heard of her illness
the oncologist and doctor spinning threads of hope
a combination of surgery and chemotherapy could
perhaps
maybe
nothing was certain – the rules no longer applied.

She told them she had lived through a war
and raised four children.
Give it to me straight she said
one to two years with treatment, closer to one
four to six months without, closer to four.

Equivalent or equal …..  it all seemed the same.
If she was going to die it would be
with dignity intact and all her hair
life sharpened by reality not dulled by treatment.
She went home and enjoyed 5 weeks of goodbye.

Still not a quarter of a century at a time
bravado a young man’s default emotion
it is exactly what I would do.
Stare directly at the executioner. No blindfold.
Now almost the same age, certainty weakens.

For the back story click Backstage
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Posted in Death

Close

Uncertain of direction we follow a friend.
A nice day for it
weather the default topic when
conversation is awkward
or estranged.

“It.” The impersonal neutral
often used as bypass
to speaking awfulness out loud
comfortable code adhered to by all
except children and the uncouth.

Down a shy road cars fold sequentially
on to the grass siding, a train switching tracks.
A moment to reassemble emotional reserve
a dignified walk to the graveside.

Wind swirls the costume of clergy
anxious hands chase unrestrained hair.
Words settle into silence
a nod indicates absolution – visas are complete.

Twelve feet shuffle forward and thread
umbilical hemp through chrome handles.
The tension of life unfolds with gravity
and is released with inaudible arrest.

Popular culture abducts language
holding words as single purpose slaves.
Intimacy = couples, beneath sheets.
But here in the wind roughed sunshine
love’s final goodbye
the most intimate of all experiences.

For the back story click Backstage
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