Category: Before the Rain

Shirley – tea Lady excelsis.
In the age of re-branding –
rubbish collection as waste management
medicine as health care
food service as catering,
she called herself “the tea lady” – endearingly and resolutely.
Said,
“ I’ve been a tea lady 40 something years –
still making tea,
blowed if I’m going to call myself anything else.”

Ours was her best staffroom she said,
“I love working here, but with the kids gone
and getting my pension … the hours ” –
9 a.m. to 11 a.m.
and
2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
……….      “ I’m tied up all day, for half a day’s pay,
but I don’t feel ready to retire, just yet ….
oh listen to me, I should be grateful.”

She did listen to herself.
And,
had a friend,
who wouldn’t mind part, part-time either.
They will job share. Two weeks on, two weeks off,
and be each others locum.
A good deal for both. Effective immediately.

They tell the director
he is incensed :
“ I appoint staff, not the bloody tea lady.”
After,
whenever a notice appeared signed by the Director
within a day or two
the title beneath the signature would be crossed out … and replaced with Tea Lady.

What the satirists said was true –
the civil service couldn’t function without tea breaks.
Each day :
10 a.m.
12 midday.
2:30 p.m. Sharp.
Everything stopped.
Everyone attended –
phone’s diverted to the staffroom.
There was even someone to make it.

Tea ladies – an extinct species now.
Women, always
warm and bighearted
making tea and coffee
dispensing cheer
and on special days,
making sure everyone got some cake.

New Zealand Tea Lady 1935 – 87.

Essential Competencies

· Endlessly patient
· Eternally cheerful
· Relentlessly willing.

Physical Attributes

· Some lifting involved
· Must be able to stand for long periods
· Large breasted (medium may apply).

Often they carried the name of a flower
Rose, Iris, Daphne
or something accessible and friendly
Annie, Betty, Jenny.
We had Shirley.

Shirley – tea Lady excelsis.
Ours was her last staff room –
four decades plus of brewing,
for men
shearers, farmers, shepherds –
tea like waste oil from a tractor.
It turned me into a coffee drinker.
I blame her for my addiction.

The Director wasn’t at work on my first day
on my second, he spoke to me :
The workplace as museum exhibit –
in the early 1980’s, staff didn’t speak to the Director,
he – there weren’t any she’s – spoke to staff.

At lunch he gazed to where I was sitting.
After he left the room
his secretary came over –
“the Director wants to see you … at 3:30.”

Before my time he smoked a pipe
later, when considered almost okay,
I witnessed much air pipe smoking.
He spoke as if he was,
as if his words faced an obstacle –
phrases rushed,
slowed,
climbed, dropping to full sentences.

Speaking: production and transmission
clunking diction fires bullet points
  – This should be our only meeting.
  – I was responsible to,
  – and the responsibility of, the senior scientist.
  – Bryan will ….
  – Applicants had proved less than ideal … “you’ve been given a chance.”
“I appreciate the …”

This is not a dialogue,
he speaks over ….
One final directive –
in red and underlined.
This is a small town workplace –
fitting in, is of equal importance as finesse.