Category: Before the Rain

They lay on a shelf,
not quite obvious,
not quite hidden.
Relics, neither discarded nor wanted
black and white
official –
a ceremony of some sort.
Reckoning guessed mid 1970’s
by hair – length and sideburns.

Don,
good-natured and strong. Very strong
difficult not to be impressed,
even if he did like to show it.
Seemed to prefer his own company
and working alone.
Sometimes I was sent to help –
he was always grateful.

He had been the foreman
in the old days,
before amalgamation and “ the new set-up.”
He told me he loved being a worker again,
being free of chasing people up – “herding sheep.”

Cold case : informants pass brief ambiguities –
about new identity,
about false credentials,
but never informing.

Growing up …..
when is time enough ….
to lift myth,
or substitute explanation for magic – calendar or serendipity?

A needed item – “ might be in the old card punch alcove.”
It isn’t,
but the photographs are.

Platform raised dignitaries
seated
smiling.
Overalled workers
standing
eyes sunk to the ground
and
glowering, malevolent, tyrannical,
imagination instinctively adds jackboots and whip : Don.

Democracy.
It was. And wasn’t.
The director and senior scientist consulted,
sought our input
then did what they thought best.

Benign paternalistic dictatorship
staff need not be concerned –
could not quite be trusted to make the right decision.
Especially with matters of the purse.

Parents and children and no needing to know.
Except this time –
unspent money –
the end of the financial year –
repossession by head office if not used
and the repercussions for next year….. unthinkable.

10 days and counting down
$7,000 …
must be used – please help – anybody
ideas – anything.

All vehicles are farm type
utility, pick up, Land Rover …..
suggestion : purchase a car,
a sedan for comfortable travel.
Saved.

It was like being on parole –
everybody in the workplace knew, 
knew I hadn’t quite met the standard –
was the least unsuitable –
was on a renewable contract: performance dependent. 
The days went quickly,
work fixed and flexible
50% on projects ….
50% spare part – where needed. And when.

Different people, different standards, different expectations ….
most are kind,
some offhand,
others distant.

By rotation I am assigned to Paul. 
We are the same age.
Both in first workplace.
Both from education –
me university, him high school.
His father works here too.
We talk questions – where and when – no who. Not yet.

New waters are too shallow to floatfor conversation 
but
self esteem has a prepared speech …
about his father,
and his father’s friendship with the director.

Confession :
Insider trading. He wants me to know. He knows I already do.

Absolution
“I started as a temporary – digging out stumps – I’ve proved myself.”

Exculpation
“I don’t work with my old man … most days I don’t even see my old man.”

‘Son of,’
a disfiguring birthmark he can’t not announce.
Or renounce.
Or let uniform cover, 
or stop picking.
Sympathy thinks dog and lampshade
and resolves never to emit the odour of nepotism.
One evening beer soaked tongues confide my nickname –
“ the lucky bastard.” – conferred by Paul.