Category: Antarctica

They prepared us well
the application package
and interview placing strong emphasis
on job volumes and variation
i.e. great and little
mundane work –  and lots of it.

At the beginning
janitorial staff thought kitchen workers
drew the short straw
so did we
until time colluded
passing quickly and collegially.

Most mess patrons were kind
and considerate(ish)
grateful
the gratitude of avoidance
this programme too large
for the kitchen rosters of small bases.
Nevertheless a significant minority were
“assholes.” Chapter 1 verse 1 Ray, Watch Captain.

Still, slaves can have fun at their masters expense
gratification filled by two mechanisms.
       1) Sighting an unpopular person and removing a popular item.
       2) Trapdoor humour.
Taking the piss
yanking their chains
spinning tall stories.

The first required sleight of hand
the second quicksilver of tongue.
Peter was clever, tail end of curve clever
and boyishly plausible
a middle-aged woman praised the water
how clear and clean it tasted.
“ We mix it up out the back
I’ll pass it on –  we’re always grateful for feedback, ”he replied earnestly.
“Please do it tastes really good.”

For the back story click Backstage

Everybody was paid the same hourly rate
equalisation was what it was called
explained at the interview
and again at the pre departure briefing
a condition of employment. Sign here.

Wherever two or more gather
self worth imagines superiority or privation.
Kitchen staff, worked early mornings, nights, Sundays
and every public holiday
pulling in the big dollars and passing them over
janitors Monday to Saturday 8.00 – 4.30
no dirt money for expunging the daily faeces and vomit.
Payslip equality
compulsory communism
as we enjoyed rampant capitalism.

The Easter moon
full and bright
still has a dark side.

Eddie was sharp, very sharp
prep school
and secure prospects.
Antarctica just the kick-off to world travel
before returning to the family business.
He did the algebra
calculating precisely the value n + 0.0001
n being the minimum acceptable output.
Our shift comprised eight people
with one rostered off each day
his cunning was a burden
somehow it seemed dishonourable to inform.

For the back story click Backstage

That irrevocable feeling
what is born on the tongue as throwaway
falls flat
wrong
and thoroughly inappropriate – flatulence at a funeral.

McMurdo was a navy town
reception was the quarter deck
washrooms were heads
dining rooms were mess decks
the kitchen a galley.

Galley slaves was what we called ourselves
mess attendants the official title
vegetable peeling, dishwashing, table bussing
scrubbing and swabbing.
And cleaning
toothpick, white glove check, everything.
Anybody standing still would hear the refrain
“ if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean.”
True.

Kitchens, hard work. Hot and dirty
where there’s dirt there’s gold. Well-paid
but status poor.
Mess attendants, kitchen hands, galley slaves
hired help to the Navy
the basement to the Navy’s downstairs
of the upstairs downstairs of science.
Bottom of the heap
for trips, accommodation, exemptions.

But God has a sense of humour
we had the best showers on base
an old 60s era plywood box barn
once bright now faded to rust colour
known affectionately as the redhead.
A comfortably worn cave of dim light
aircraft hanger space
hot, hot water
and magnificent pressure. It was our secret.
Word trickled out, the odd trespasser in
women welcome. Men tolerated.

Time and place and people often coincide
an interloping scientist often arriving as I finished
“caught you naked again,” he says jovially
“I just like to expose myself,” the unthinking, unrehearsed reply
lips rigidly tight he turns and leaves.
One afternoon I am wiping tables
he is sitting with two colleagues
looking conspiratorially in my direction
all three get up and move when I approach.

For the back story click Backstage