Author: tq1695

Tall and blonde, the all Californian girl
men loved her, women were envious.
Always chosen
life was easy, grace or charm redundant
beauty gave automatic entry,
even when almost inaccessible.
Rejection, a distant image
badly focused and easily clicked away.

A cool look awarded intelligence
which may, or
may not have been
confirmation never asked
or required
scrutiny escaped with ease
her life the median – standard, no deviation.

Truth should be acknowledged
she sometimes induced envy
or disdain
perhaps because she belonged to a group I never had –
those who are always included
people,
for whom chance is never slim.

Time has diluted venom and dilated eyes
compassion, slow to form, now understands
she never quite grew up
didn’t ever leave a child’s need to be liked.

We are early of course
lateness sometimes tolerated, frequently excused
today unpardonable, safety margin greater than normal
the groom is already there. Standing outside. Beaming.

He looked as a child does
on the last morning of school
before the long, long summer holidays
that feeling of last day abandon better,
than new day belonging.

The bride de rigueur late
her groom beams
and pays no mind
a long, fly fish courtship
patience has waited and waited. He can wait some more.

Corinthians is read. Chapter and verse
Love is defined
the minister adds concurrence
vows exchanged
the bride permitted to be kissed. The groom beams

Champagne amidst the scents of apprenticed summer
the precocious yearnings of flowers
grass becoming hay
high dried dust. The groom beams.

Speeches are spoken
toasts toasted
tiered cake cut
photographs store the present, for the future. The groom beams.

The sun softens from white to yellow
to butterscotch
a vintage convertible transports the couple to Utopia
the groom beams. Has he ever been this happy?

Once.
The same day
a different decade
a different bride
a different ending. Hopefully.

Although authoritarian,
my parents were nervous of authority
or rather, authorities.
Priest,
Policeman,
practitioner of medicine,
school principal
rendered their absolute, obeisant
replaced stern, with meek.

“Yes Fr.
Of course Dr.
Our thoughts exactly Mr/Mrs/Miss …. .”

When the water right was disputed
I said I would go with them
to the lawyer
and then the hearings.

After court, and the ruling
they wanted to show their appreciation
a bottle of wine,
or a CD
would have annulled any debt
but was considered cheap.
An expensive restaurant was ordered
the food was good
very good
but left an aftertaste
salt sadness
the sharp tang of proof,
of genetics, known and unknowing.
I’d have preferred fries and beer at the beach
or pizza and Chianti in the park – they had no idea.